Veterans Day

Beyond The Door

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‘If you don’t get me admitted now, the next person walking through that door will be going through the window!’

Chuck Cash had lost his brother, his marriage, and his life as he knew it, including being a Gun Truck Commander in the Air Force in 120 days. He suffers from a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), and he was drinking every day (8 days if he could) and got multiple DUIs within 18 months, along with getting arrested for alcohol related events within those 18 months. He knew he needed to get beyond the door and find peace from the chaos and pain of his life.

One morning, he woke up, packed his bag, and went to the Veterans Hospital in Tampa and told the nurse ‘I need to be checked into rehab now!’ And by now, that means now…fortunately nobody went through the window, and he was taken care of immediately.

Chuck’s stepdad, Thomas ‘PJ’ Zvada, still thinks about his buddies from Vietnam; he served 18 months and arrived just as the Tet Offensive got going. He was a medic on an Army helicopter often flying into combat areas for rescue. He also kept extra clips on him for his gun to reload and shoot so they could get out with the wounded soldiers; few of us can imagine the cognitive dissonance of saving lives and taking them at the same time. His mind still fights those battles from 50 years ago, waking up in the middle of the night having flashback nightmares. The Vietnam War has been over for 50 years, 50 YEARS, yet for PJ and others that served as he did, it still mentally rages on each day.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.” —G.K. Chesterton

A conversation prompted by tragedy

A Southport Sunrise over Battery Island

What prompted this conversation for Veteran’s Day was borne out of a tragedy in our hometown of Southport, North Carolina. Our town of around 4,000 people is very small, quiet, peaceful, and there is only one restaurant that is open past 10pm. We have no chain restaurants, and it is common to see someone on their porch, introduce themselves, have a conversation and make a new friend shortly thereafter. Our town sits at the intersection of the Intracoastal Waterway, Cape Fear River, with the Atlantic Ocean right around the corner. Palm trees, pelicans, dolphins, boats coming and going, postcard sunrises and sunsets (we face south), make this place any photographer’s dream…we are incredibly grateful to live here. The movie ‘Safe Haven‘ (from the book of the same name by Nicolas Sparks) has made this place feel exactly that.

American Fish Company

Which is why the night of September 27th, 2025, seemed unreal. One of our favorite spots in town (and a draw to many visitors) is American Fish Company, which sits on the waterfront. That night, an armed sniper drove his boat up the Intracoastal Waterway from Oak Island, idled just off the dock and started shooting. He killed 3 people and injured many more. My wife and I were awakened by text and calls from friends and family asking if we were OK, as we had gone to sleep and had not heard the news until the next morning. We could not believe it; our Safe Haven bubble had been shaken to the core.

Remembering Joy, Michael, and Solomon

We mourn with the families who lost loved ones and will always keep you in our hearts, Joy Rogers, Michael Durbin, and Solomon Banjo. They were simply enjoying their evening when this tragedy occurred, and the shooter is a marine and Iraq war veteran. As we learned more, it was discovered he struggled with mental health that was left unchecked; that said, he chose this action and there is no excuse. We are thankful he was caught quickly by the authorities.

What nagged the next few weeks was how it got this bad? Is there anyone who I could talk to that is a veteran, has a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and/or mental health issues due to war and life circumstances that we could all learn from. Angela, my wife, suggested Chuck Cash and his stepdad PJ Zvada. Both war veterans have experienced the worst sides of humanity and have moved beyond the doors in their lives to make peace with their pasts and put purpose to their pain.

Chuck (right) and brother Chris

We recently took a trip to Tampa, Florida to visit Chuck and PJ, and their families. You may remember the story of Chris Cash (Chuck’s brother) who I wrote about in 2023 for Memorial Day and whose life was cut way too short; Chris was supposed to be Angela’s husband and their mom, Rita, her mother-in-law. As I wrote, for Angela it was: “A future that never happened, that was being planned to happen, that should have happened was all gone.“

Part of my mission in learning from others, and seeing through their eyes, is helping us realize that we are not isolated trying to figure and understand everything out on our own. We’re connected everyday with others who have experiences that we can lean on and learn from; their stories strengthen us, and their perseverance encourages ours.

“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

They missed, then they didn’t…you are bleeding!!

After his brother Chris died, Chuck wanted to be deployed. It was hard being in Tampa and seeing memories of him and his brother everywhere. He was also very angry and wanted every bad person to die (for context: the person who caused the accident that killed his brother in Oklahoma has never been caught or identified).

Chuck was a Gun Truck Commander and in late 2004 there were a lot of operations in and around Fallujah, Iraq. They would go in at night, as they could see and their enemy could not see them well.

Chuck survived this, by THAT much

He will always remember the date everything changed, November 6th, 2004. He had just been on the phone in the truck with his command post letting them know they were under fire and were OK after the first RPG missed, then moments later they were hit. The gunner was thrown from the Jeep, and Chuck and his driver were miraculously alive while a tank near them was able to hunt down the vehicle that fired on them and took care of it. Chuck, though conscious, was bleeding from the back of his head and needed to get medical attention immediately.

He was helicoptered out to Balad Air Base Hospital and then sent via medivac to Landstuhl Hospital at Ramstein Air Force base in Germany. As he was carried onto the C-17, he was given last rites, and the next thing he knew he could see snow falling out the window of the aircraft as they landed. He has no memory of that flight, however he made sure his mom, Rita, knew that he survived. Having just lost his brother, Chris (an Air Force pilot) less than 3 months prior, he knew she needed that reassurance.

It was determined that Chuck ear drums and sinus cavity had burst due to the explosion and had three procedures done; he was in the hospital for six weeks. The sounds of airbrakes might as well have been an airhorn, when he heard them, he would look out the window and pray he didn’t know anyone that was coming in. Service members were not sent there for paper cuts, it was serious, and Chuck would often hear the screams of soldiers within the halls. He realized that he was among people who would not make it home, and that was one of the worst feelings in his life.

As trying as a time this was, the injuries inflicted eternal wounds that day and have transcended into his daily life and Chuck has come to terms with it will be this way the rest of the way.

The sound of a helicopter brings it back

For PJ, when he hears a helicopter overhead, he will always hear it differently than the rest of us. He was an army medic on a helicopter during the Vietnam War, did two tours totaling 18 months. Right after the Tet Offensive, they were going into combat zones to get the wounded, get them on the helicopter, shoot who shoots at them while doing so, and get out. Both he and Chuck put into perspective what is considered a ‘rough job’.

Talking to PJ about his service, he remembers his service mates…his pilot was Dave Johnson. Great guy and PJ wished he could still talk to him.

PJ and Rita, life in Tampa

He suffers from haunting flashbacks and hallucinations from the war and what he saw, so much so that when his mom was alive, she urged him to get some help. He did and conveyed to me how it has helped him manage and navigate his life. The war has been over for 50 years…50 YEARS, and he still suffers from these flashbacks that wake him up on edge in the middle of the night. His therapist, and the fact that he can talk to someone, helps him get through the days and keep him mentally grounded knowing that he can’t simply turn off his war experiences and images, however he can manage it, talk about it, and live his life the best he can.

His wife Rita fully supports it as well, understands, and meets him where he is, mentally and emotionally, every day. Had his mental health gone untreated, PJ does not know what could have transpired only that he would be a lot worse.

“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” —Arthur Ashe

Before moving forward, it all went sideways

Before deployment, Chuck was well tuned in to senior leadership at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa having been around many Generals personally during the war, he drove and served as a trusted ear to the ground. His life from a work perspective seemed quite stable. His Air Force career started at Beale Air Force Base in California, and with the advantage of him being fluent in Japanese, was transferred to Yokota Air Base outside Tokyo; Chuck had spent the majority of his elementary school and high school years in Japan and knows the country very well. There are likely not that many descendants of Cuban immigrants who are fluent in Japanese…proud to know you, Chuck!

While stationed in Japan, he was one of the first American responders on site when the Sirin Gas attacks on the Tokyo subway happened in March 1995 killing 13 people and injuring over 5,800. With a coordinated response by the American and Japanese authorities, many of the attackers were found and arrested soon thereafter.

He eventually ended up back in Tampa (MacDill Air Force Base), working with the Joint Service Commands) being close to his family, and being married with two kids, he was incredibly great at his roles served for our country.

After his injury, he was placed on convalescent leave to heal from his injuries and ultimately ‘Med Boarded’, which is a process of medical evaluation and separation from service due to medical conditions. All that Chuck had worked for, achieved, relationships built in the Air Force, gone. In the same week, and upon return to Tampa, his wife wants a divorce. So, to summarize, he lost his brother, his military career due to injury, and his marriage all within three months.

A personal $&*! storm, and it all went sideways in a short time.

Chuck was drinking every day after the divorce, got a DUI, another one a year later, then another one six months after that; in between all that was arrested several times for alcohol related incidents. One morning, an epiphany, he knew he needed help or his life would be shorter than expected and he could hurt others with irreparable harm.

With his life going spiraling sideways and down, Chuck proceeded to pack his bags and went to the Veterans Hospital in Tampa and checked himself into Rehab, with now meaning NOW. After the nurse told him he could wait and get a referral, he said that the next person was in danger of being thrown out the window if it was not now, and he was admitted right then and there.

Chuck was in Rehab for just over 6 months; they were not nice (and it proved effective) and labeled what he was doing as a drug because it made him feel good (or better). He had lost everything in a span of around 120 days and self-admittedly was so messed up and miserable.

What he did know is that he could get help if he asked…and he did. What I learned is that if he doesn’t ask, others can ask on his behalf, and it will happen.

“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” – Mariska Hargitay

Shifting Gears

He has seen the best and worst of humanity, and his time in rehab allowed Chuck the time and perspective to gain traction and move forward again in life. The losses of his brother, marriage, fellow soldiers, and life in the Air Force had taken a mental and physical toll. After his release and checking on his injuries sustained in combat, a medical scan revealed TBI. He knew that for all intents and purposes, he more or less had a disability that was going to require management and attention daily.

Chuck and Mary Ann, she keeps him grounded in many ways

It was all too real to him when he checked into rehab at the VA hospital that he could have been THAT guy who lost it and made headlines for all the wrong reasons. He hates violence, however he is not afraid to confront it and gets angry when bad people hurt others; the bad guys are not going to counseling or checking into rehab either. In fact, his military training and post rehab mind enabled him to save a man’s life, and arm, during an attempted homicide that he helped thwart one night in Tampa. A man was stopped and shot in the arm, and Chuck was at the right place at the right time with some Quikclot and quick thinking; the bad guys did not win.

He is now remarried and his wife, Mary Ann, is very understanding with him and his mental health issues due to the TBI. It has to be regulated and scheduled, if there are any ‘curve balls’ thrown at him it can throw him off and Mary Ann makes sure to correct a situation if it happens. He credits Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) learned during his time in rehab for managing his TBI condition and uses it all the time.

It is enriching for me to know Chuck’s and PJ’s stories, and am honored to share them with others who need encouragement.

Getting Chuck’s insights with regard to shootings across the country and the one we had in Southport by a former marine can serve as a lesson for us all.

Mental Stress on Veterans: More Than Ever and Getting Help

In case you are wondering how big of an issue this is…

It is estimated that 414,000 American service members and veterans experienced a traumatic brain injury (TBI) between 2000 and 2019, with many not even realizing they’ve had a TBI until months or even years after the incident. Signs that their brain has been injured include struggle with memory, sleep, mood swings, headaches, or concentration, thinking it’s just stress or aging. And TBI doesn’t end after the initial trauma; the ripple effects of the incident persist quietly, affecting how a person thinks, feels, works, and relates to others.

According to Dr. Eilaf Meenai (Traumatic Brain Injury and Mental Health in Veterans), another long-term consequence is the increased risk of PTSD, as TBI and PTSD often co-occur, and they also reinforce each other; for example, a brain already struggling to regulate blood flow and process emotional stimuli becomes more reactive to trauma reminders. The psychological toll of injury also causes a deep, lingering sense of sadness and disinterest in life. And these struggles can lead to suicidal thoughts or behaviors. Research shows that veterans with a history of TBI are at significantly higher risk of suicide than those without it.

PJ’s Vietnam Combat Certificate

With Chuck and PJ’s wartime battles, experiences, and handling living life afterwards, their veteran perspective should help us all understand better what many veterans, and non-veterans, deal with when it comes to mental health and taking care of it. It may be hard to fathom; however the United States has now been involved in war (in some form) for nearly 25 years since 9/11. Causalities from the War on Terror are higher than other wars combined, noting:

“According to the Costs of War Project, the post-9/11 wars of the campaign have displaced 38 million people, the second largest number of forced displacements of any conflict since 1900,[28] and caused more than 4.5 million deaths (direct and indirect) in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, Somalia, Syria and Yemen.

Key findings from the project, which analyzes the human and budgetary costs of U.S. military operations in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen, and Pakistan, include:
– An estimated over 940,000 people were killed by direct war violence between 2001 and 2023.
– An estimated 3.6 to 3.8 million people died indirectly as a result of the destruction of infrastructure, economies, healthcare systems, and the environment caused by the wars.
– This brings the estimated total death toll (direct and indirect) to at least 4.5 to 4.7 million people and counting.

Chuck next to his Gun Truck in Iraq

Those statistics both startle and numb the senses, and in spite of the numbers above and due to advances in medicine, we are saving people now that in former wars could not be saved due to the injuries inflicted. There is more mental stress than ever, to the point that we all in society need to be aware of how we interact with others, as we never know what will set someone off.

When we discussed the shooter in Southport, and the fact that he had a TBI, and in context of how Chuck has managed his own, he conveyed it is similar to CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) which is a progressive neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries, typically sustained in contact sports such as football, boxing, and hockey. The National Football League has spent millions on the subject as it has affected many athletes over the years.

As for preventing shooting events from happening, unless we want to live in a society as portrayed in the movie ‘Minority Report‘, unfortunately they will happen with the reason mostly being the perpetrator’s mental health. There is no easy answer, however talking with Chuck and PJ helped me understand the issues and circumstances.

So, what can we do other than offer thoughts and prayers after these events occur and shrug our shoulders? We can help, and it does not require being a veteran to do so. This applies to non-veterans in our lives as well, simply asking on their behalf for help if they are hesitant to do so.

VA App, push the red button at the top for help

First of all, if someone you know is a veteran and is struggling with mental health, the VA App on their phone offers immediate assistance with the push of a button on the front page; the VA takes it seriously. Calling 911 and letting them know you know of a veteran who is mentally off and struggling and they need to contact VA and get them help, Chuck emphasized and encouraged that any of us can do that. However you need to ask, and we all should encourage others we know who are to do so…there is no shame in it whatsoever.

Chuck and his buddy

Though Chuck realizes he may be one of the few who voluntarily went to rehab, and it served him well, he does realize that the deck can be stacked against you, meaning that someone can face significant circumstances, conditions, or obstacles that make success or recovery extremely difficult. He conveyed that it could make it easier for veterans to openly talk about mental health, and perhaps progress can be made, by having other veterans that faced similar or relatable circumstances readily available to encourage them; just need to ask. That said, the VA does a lot for Veterans Mental Health that we may not be aware of, and a heartfelt conversation learning from two veterans who have struggled mightily serving our country, I am grateful for.

What Chuck and PJ have come to realize is that mental health evolves over time, and their experiences that happened to them are what made them who they are today; they are stronger and more resilient because of it…and grateful to be alive.

“Sometimes the loudest cries for help are silent.” – Harlan Coben

Beyond the door, would you know my name…healing through grief

When it came to bringing this all together, I could not help thinking of the story of Conor Clapton. He was four years old when his dad, Eric Clapton, was about to pick him up for some father-son time, lunch, and a visit to the Central Park Zoo. He then received a call that forever changed his life.

Conor (Clapton’s son with his ex-girlfriend, Italian actress Lory del Santo), was playing in the New York City apartment he shared with his mother on the morning of March 20, 1991. Conor accidentally fell to his death from the 53rd-floor residence through a window that had been inadvertently left open following janitorial work in the apartment. Clapton says he “went cold” and “shut down right away” after hearing the news. Upon entering the apartment, then filled with emergency service responders, Clapton recalls feeling like the scene had nothing to do with him. “I felt like I had walked into someone else’s life,”…and I still feel like that.”

Clapton described his bond with Conor as the closest relationship he had up to that point in his life, and he credits his son as being one of the main reasons he became and remains sober; he says the tragedy gave him the strength to fully commit to his sobriety instead of relapsing. Dealing with deep grief, he spent much of the months immediately following his son’s death alone, attending sobriety meetings and sought solace in his guitar and creating music. One of the songs he wrote reflects his personal healing process and serves as a powerful testament to his love and pain, and provides comfort as we struggle doing the same with our own.

For our Chuck, PJ, their fellow veterans and fallen friends, our Veterans, our Southport Community, the families of Michael Durbin, Joy Rogers, and Solomon Banjo, and others that need to hear this…may our communities strive to hold you up in your darkest hours, and remind you that beyond the door there is peace, as a gift from heaven, between all the tears.

This is for you.

Thank you for reading and until next time.

Ed

Resources for Veterans:

Marathon Man of Honor and Strength

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There were long periods where he did not see the sun, the most being 128 days. That is what to expect serving in the US Navy on a submarine. Yet, Sid Busch would not let the confined spaces and lack of roads get in the way of running. So, what did he do? Ran around the missile compartment 239 times to complete a half marathon! We are all grateful his elbow did not accidently depress one of the buttons in there either. For long distance runners, we always treasure the scenery whether on roads or trails; submarines can provide unique opportunities and having run marathons all over the world, one thing Sid wanted to do was run around the world. With his submarine having surfaced at the North Pole, Sid got out to see the sky and ran around the pole, thus running around the world at the top of the world.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in Brooklyn

Sid’s love for submarines started early, growing up in Brooklyn, NY, and he blames Walt Disney. He was born in April of 1946 and raised in Brooklyn, NY, Flatbush Ave and Ebbets Field. His Dad Jacob (who went by Jack and was colorblind, thus could not serve in the armed forces) served as a welder at the Naval Shipyard and his Mom, Ada, was a nurse who assisted doctors on house calls. Unfortunately, his Dad got injured and needed to be retrained, and his Mom became a teacher. With Sid’s older brother Peter, they never longed for anything, nor ever knew they were poor, they were rich as a family in their love for each other.

“They lived comfortably and it was a good life they had…happy and full of small adventures. And they were so young and loved each other so much.” – A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)

Sid’s decision to join the navy and be on a submarine can be traced back to Walt Disney and the movie 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, which was released in 1954 when he was 8 years old. At night when going to bed, he would climb on his bunk bed and pretend he was getting on the Nautilus. He thought subs were cool and would make cardboard models of them at home. As Sid went through his high school years (George Wingate High School), he made the wrestling team and after school was found often playing stickball in the streets. He had friends from all races and backgrounds on Flatbush Avenue, with his best friend being Clayton McFarland, whose family had moved to New York from Greenville, South Carolina. Sid and Clayton were found together often, they were like brothers and where one was so was the other. Clayton’s Mom was very gracious and welcoming to Sid however his Dad, being descendants of slaves in the Jim Crow south, understandably did not trust white people. He did become more welcoming and hospitable towards Sid over time.

Sid’s Brooklyn and Ebbets Field memories, and riding on the back of buses to catch a ride!

Sid and Clayton finished up high school together and off they went into their lives, with Sid spent one year in college before going into the Navy and Clayton went to the Army. As their journey’s transpire, the bond between these unlikely two brothers from Brooklyn will never be broken.

Sid had family that served in the Korean War and his family certainly supported his decision.

Transformative Years, Diesels and Nukes, Just Like Us, and the broken coffee machine

“I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think I can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: ‘I served in the US Navy.'” – President John F. Kennedy

As one notes the years the Sid served in the Navy, from 1965-1991, I can’t help to think the wars and societal changes during those years. The Vietnam War, Civil Rights Movement, Watergate, Cold War, Fall of the Berlin Wall, and many others. When I spoke to Sid about these transformative times that were happening on the continent surfaces across the world, it certainly made its way down to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea serving for 26 years on a navy submarine.

Sid on one of his submarines taking a break above the surface

The first submarines were WWII leftovers, the Baya, Clamagore, and Irex. These subs were diesel powered and built in 11 months in mass production for the war effort. On the Baya, Sid fondly remembers the dog they had as a mascot. Once the WWII subs were phased out, he served on the Shark, Lapon, Abe Lincoln, John Marshall, John C. Calhoun, Mariano G. Vallejo, and the Florida (his last one). These nuclear-powered subs, having their own power plant, could stay below the surface for incredibly long periods of time compared to their diesel-powered predecessors.

I asked Sid about living and working with others in the confined spaces of a submarine, in context of these societal times of change as I know his experiences could teach us all. He shared that on a submarine everyone is equally important and to treat each other with that mindset, or they all could end up at the ocean bottom. Most everyone got along and would learn to stay out of each other’s way knowing the nooks and crannies of the working and living spaces. During his early years in the mid to late 1960s blacks could not serve in certain roles, yet he rightfully saw at the end of his career that the only color that matters is red; he shared that some southerners he served with could not accept black sailors being equal and it had to be enforced. When on a submarine, he knew that prejudices need to be checked at the door (or hatch) as they needed to work together and knew after a couple months at sea, there is a likelihood to go stir crazy.

Sid at the Office, one very hard to find at any point in time

Another chance encounter stood out to Sid during his time in the Navy. During a stop in Norfolk, Virginia in 1973 there were some Russian Frigates visiting and he met some Russian sailors. He came away thinking how much they had in common, and how they got along with them and their families. This was the height of the Cold War, and it does make one scratch their head and think, why can’t we all get along, especially the decision makers in government.

Seeing as a nuclear submarine can stay at sea for incredibly long periods of time, the main issue is making sure not to run out of food and that there is coffee. While on a mission the coffee machine broke, and they conveyed to the Captain that it is the world’s best interest not to trust decaffeinated sailors, so a special project was launched to rebuild the coffee machine and they did. Crisis averted.

Visiting one of his first subs served on, the USS Clamagore

He does vividly remember coming into port for the last time, with the civilian world in waiting. The USS Florida was his last submarine, and it was scary disembarking for the last time knowing he now needed to decide daily what to wear. The civilian world is an adjustment and not very organized compared to military life, he would get people to form single lines out of habit.

Thank You Sid

An Unwelcome Homecoming and Life Changing Call to the State Room

Many of us still recall, and others have read, that the Vietnam War was certainly one that was not fully supported at home. As a child, I remember my Mom immediately turning the television off when any news and footage came across the screen. The U.S. involvement increased over the years across several presidential administrations, with the fear being if Vietnam fell, the rest of Asia could soon follow. Having grown up in Southeast Asia, I witnessed that fear never did materialize.

“Anyone who isn’t confused really doesn’t understand the situation.” – Edward R. Murrow

The welcome home that many returning military service members received was less than welcoming to say the least. For Sid, he served in his submarine off the coast of Vietnam tracking Russian subs and their activity, being ready for action at a moment’s notice. When he came home and docked in San Francisco, what he describes as a hippie female came up to him, called him a baby killer and spit in his face. There were 50,000 servicemember lives lost in Vietnam, and one thing many of them never received was a ‘Welcome Home.’

In 1974, Sid was assigned to the USS Shark and on a mission at sea. He had been married to his wife, Alicia, for around nine months and they had a son, Seth. On August 10th, 1974, the Captain summoned Sid to the State Room and he thought he was in trouble. Rather, it was troubling indeed and there was no easy way for the Captain to say this; his wife and son had been killed by a drunk driver when they were on their way to the doctor for a check-up for Seth. Sid was angry for many years and knows full well that time does not heal all wounds. The drunk driver ended up getting seven years, which only fueled the anger, and he would struggle to maintain control of himself at times. He learned more about himself and that he does not like downtime, and he turned more of his focus on doing something that helps families and in turn, helps him.

I think most of us would understand completely if Sid instead focused on himself primarily after such a tragedy.

Sid’s only picture of him and his wife Alicia, it is difficult for him to look back at these times.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, a deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving

A Ruptured Disc followed by over 200 Marathons, BQs included

To put this in perspective, Sid is now 77 years old. He has run 206 marathons on several continents and at one point in his life could run it in less than 3 hours: 2:54:51 in Vancouver being his PR. He was able to run Boston twice, in 2010 and 2011, towards the end of his running career and has run at the base of volcanoes, London, Glasgow, at Loch Ness in Scotland, and in Guam where they start at 4am and coconut crabs along the course are mistaken for manhole covers. There was a time period where he ran 6 marathons over 6 weekends in a row for 6-7 years. He loved it so much he won a trip to run the Chicago Marathon by running the Cooper Bridge Run in Charleston, SC and wrote what running means to him. He also qualified for Boston in the 1990s however the Navy would not allow the excuse from service. So, no problem, he qualified again later.

Sid started running in 1981, and hard to fathom his interest considering how many days a year he was several fathoms beneath the ocean surface. He ruptured his disc and needed to prove to the medical board he was still fit for service. After a 3:45 marathon run in Savannah, Georgia to prove his point, the Medical Board must have raised their collective eyebrows and said something along the lines of “Impressive! You ARE fit for service.”

“Winning has nothing to do with racing. Most days don’t have races anyway. Winning is about struggle and effort and optimism, and never, ever, ever giving up.” – Amby Burfoot

Fit for service, and running over 200 marathons…this one in New York 1986

I could listen to Sid’s running journey and stories forever, and his heart to remember fallen heroes is one we should emulate. He ran his final marathon in 2020, the virtual Marine Corps Marathon where he had 40 people to keep him company and was awarded his medal at the finish line arch by a Marine who served in Fallujah. There was no better way to end his career than that and it took 8 hours.

After crossing the finish line at Sid’s final marathon in 2020

A Run to Honor, and an Honor to Run

Before that final 26.2, there were others, such as the one he ran for his cousin David who was killed in the World Trade Center in 2001; Sid had run 6 marathons with him previously. There was running to remember Staff Sgt. Jimmy Malachowski who told his mother before his 5th deployment that his greatest fear would be no one knew he existed. He was killed in action and his last words were “Are my men ok?” We do remember Jimmy, and Sid sure does. There was Corporal Matthew Dillon , killed in action in Iraq on 12/11/2006 and after running to honor their son, his parents presented Sid his medal in person. Sid visited the grave of someone he never met, Private First Class Josh Klinger of Easton, Pennsylvania who was killed in action in June 2005. These people that sacrificed everything and honoring them is what helps keep Sid going, and serve as his fuel and focus. He often runs carrying the American Flag to honor the fallen. We can get lost at times hearing about celebrities when there are selfless others giving their lives to serve and protect that go unrecognized.

Sid with his fuel and focus

It never fails to amaze me how we can come across others in our lives. I did not know Sid well however knew he was involved with Meg’s Miles community, and knows first hand we can all turn pain into purpose and run as one. He found out about Meg Menzies and her story from his friend, Donna Schultz and came to Richmond, Virginia as many other runners do for the Richmond Marathon in November. He met Meg’s parents, Pam and Wirt, and shared that Meg seemed to be such a beautiful person taken from us needlessly; even though he had never met her he had a feeling he had through her parents. Sid shared a sad connection to Pam and Wirt, having lost his wife and son to a drunk driver. For someone he never met, Sid ran to remember and honor Meg and her parents.

Organizations that serve and honor our veterans that Sid focuses on include Wear Blue: Run to Remember, the Wounded Warrior Project and The Gary Sinise Foundation; he has met Gary Sinise who conveyed that he deals with important people each day, namely our veterans.

After a marathon, a time to honor service members

When I asked him what is something that each of us could do that may help our perspective, Sid shared that every American should visit Arlington cemetery at least once. That remembrance is what help keeps him going.

“It’s not how you run, it’s how you run your life.” – Wirt Cross (Meg’s Dad)

Family, Childhood Friends, and What We Can All Do

Sid remembers his family fondly, and now is the last remaining member.

He talked to him four days prior in 2012, Peter Busch went to Harvard and then Yale for his graduate work before becoming a Political Science professor. When they first got a television in their childhood home, Peter would be the one yelling down the hall to Sid to ‘Turn it Down!’; he liked to read. Peter struggled with depression which was prompted by physical problems, and committed suicide on a day nobody saw coming. Hearing Sid share about his brother and their forever connection and love for one another, I know it brings a fog to his heart and he misses him everyday.

Ada Busch, Sid’s Mom, was always active and audited college courses at the age of 100. She lived to 102 and died in 2017 due to breast cancer that could not be treated due to her age; however Sid is extremely grateful for the years he had with her. It is rare to have a parent with you when you reach your 70s, and Sid knows he was blessed with her presence.

As for Sid’s Brooklyn brother, Clayton, they both knew after high school they were serving in the Armed Forces in Vietnam and kept in touch from time to time. In 1974, Sid received a letter from Clayton’s Mom, who cared so much about Sid and his friendship with their son, that let him know Clayton was killed in action and would not be coming home. As I heard this story, I could not help getting misty in the eyes myself as we all have childhood friends that we long to go outside with one more time then come home when the street lights signal to do so. He went to the Vietnam Memorial Wall in DC to honor Clayton and remembers their years fondly.

“Our childhood friends are always a part of who we are and what we have become.” – Anonymous

Through all the years of service, and trials Sid endured, what inspires is his heart to remember not only those close to him, rather those he has never met yet we all should remember. He sees the world through eyes of gratitude, appreciation, and wonder, and treasures life’s simple beauty such as human connections, the places and people where he has ventured and met, and exemplifies that there is no stronger force than loving others, regardless of the circumstances.

After running to honor for a fallen soldier, Sid visit to give his respects and award the medal

I asked him so, what can we do? There are small things we can all do to honor others who have served our country, such as volunteer at a Veterans Hospital as many of them do not have families, plant flags at military cemeteries, or simply when seeing a Vietnam Vet say “Welcome Home.”

Many of them, such as Sid, never got welcomed back home.

Know you like Jazz, and figured this may take you back to days of playing stickball with Clayton, growing up with your family, or taking in the world around you on a marathon course while honoring somebody you never met. Louis Armstrong has quite the story himself, yet would not let it circumstances define him and his view on life, and wants us all to know we all can too.

God Bless you Sid, your hardships and heart for service is heart aching, heartwarming, and inspiring; thank you for sharing your story for Veteran’s Day.

And, Welcome Home.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Ed